Cheetah

The Cheetah, 

dare I cheaply pun, 

is a cheat.

Why are the camel and giraffe 

criticized as ungainly

when the cheetah’s out of all proportion 

to other bigger cats.

Over long and boringly spotted

(and, my dear, that false tear!)

No long-distance stamina.

But just listen how 

the commentators and cameramen enthuse 

whooping as if still at school athletics –

‘Such speed’ ‘Such skill!’ ‘Gotcher!’ ‘What a kill!’

And then give a Guinness Book of Records smirk.

For my part, I’d prefer an antelope, 

old, infirm, disabled, 

to outrun, dodge and outleap the cheetah.

And as for that silly false tear!

“Don’t you think it makes me a good predator?

A caring carnivore? Vulnerable to bigger cats.”

Sad Clown stuff 

face-painted on.